He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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