we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
