batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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