What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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