I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
