its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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