babies were throwing up all over the place
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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