i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize
