Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
