if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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