don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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