i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
