Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(505): View more from New Mexico

You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call

(720): View more from Colorado

Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday

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(256): View more from Alabama

Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.

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(618): View more from Illinois

Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(615): View more from Tennessee

You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?

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(702): View more from Nevada

I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.

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