I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
