so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
