I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
