i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
