i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm going to jail i love you
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
