well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
