Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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