Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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