After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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