wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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