...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
