He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
