i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
