Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
