hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
