I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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