jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You dont lie about slip and slides
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
