But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
We are all done wearing pants today
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
