I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i dont even know how to be here
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
