At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
