I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
