Your mouth is God's brothel.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize
