haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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