Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Randomize
