come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Your dad touched me again.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
