It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
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Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
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Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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