you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
