But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Randomize
