I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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