can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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