well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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