We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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