i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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