Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
