I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Can I color on your dick again?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
