this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
