You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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