i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
We just shotgunned beers for America
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
