Texts From Last Night

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  (408): View more from California

  420 ftw

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  (408): 420 ftw http://tfl.nu/c4kx
  Replies (16) Good night (1487) Bad night (628)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?

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  (512): You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that? http://tfl.nu/amhf
  Replies (16) Good night (3835) Bad night (1099)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever

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  (734): It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever http://tfl.nu/iaws
  Replies (12) Good night (6722) Bad night (641)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa

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  (954): I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa http://tfl.nu/4mlw
  Replies (79) Good night (14322) Bad night (1128)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.

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  (352): She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game. http://tfl.nu/e2np
  Replies (7) Good night (3180) Bad night (665)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.

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  (410): She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else. http://tfl.nu/yur0
  Replies (47) Good night (13146) Bad night (1047)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  A simple 'no' would have sufficed

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  (614): The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls. (610): A simple 'no' would have sufficed http://tfl.nu/eyzn
  Replies (14) Good night (2035) Bad night (5726)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense

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  (406): I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense http://tfl.nu/qajt
  Replies (48) Good night (5627) Bad night (1554)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer

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  (410): The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer http://tfl.nu/0sxh
  Replies (5) Good night (1618) Bad night (1111)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form

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  (412): i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form http://tfl.nu/n72m
  Replies (17) Good night (2217) Bad night (998)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.

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  (509): While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop. http://tfl.nu/o4cj
  Replies (4) Good night (1322) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.

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  (907): It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls. http://tfl.nu/6ztr
  Replies (2) Good night (465) Bad night (1038)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.

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  (440): Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it. http://tfl.nu/mpdx
  Replies (2) Good night (885) Bad night (335)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?

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  (763): I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I? http://tfl.nu/xms3
  Replies (6) Good night (989) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack

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  (920): I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack http://tfl.nu/hqr0
  Replies (2) Good night (892) Bad night (344)

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