I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Dating After Heartbreak
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018