ADVERTISEMENT

• (615): View more from Tennessee

  one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars

  Fav 14 1234 3331

  share tweet
  

• (641): View more from Iowa

  Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.

  Fav 15 4361 1257

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (352): View more from Florida

  if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.

  Fav 20 4105 1056

  share tweet
  

• (660): View more from Missouri

  He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"

  Fav 33 1618 12844

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.

  Fav 2 2865 1252

  share tweet
  

• (519): View more from Ontario

  and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?

  Fav 5 2856 1002

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (440): View more from Ohio

  Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore

  Fav 5 2574 987

  share tweet
  

• (904): View more from Florida

  you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.

  Fav 9 3056 1234

  share tweet
  

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.

  Fav 7 3694 916

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (250): View more from British Columbia

  Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.

  Fav 6 984 1157

  share tweet
  

• (407): View more from Florida

  OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING

  Fav 4 1206 860

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (865): View more from Tennessee

  I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.

  Fav 5 1526 640

  share tweet
  

• (701): View more from North Dakota

  he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party

  Fav 0 876 556

  share tweet
  

• (224): View more from Illinois

  I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?

  Fav 2 204 334

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (248): View more from Michigan

  Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me

  Fav 2 67 9

  share tweet
  

Randomize