your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize