i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
