i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
