At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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