I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
