Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
