just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
